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Hollywood makes iconic catch phrases seem easy. more
Should you invest in the stock market now or wait? more
For the past few weeks, I’ve been engaged in a WWE cage match against allergies. No, it’s not COVID. I promise, it’s not COVID. Really, even when I blow my nose so loudly that it triggers nearby home and car alarm systems, it’s still not COVID. more
So I can spend more time with my family, I am turning this week’s column over to a bright fourth-grade student from an unnamed American small town. more
Honest, I’m going to write a book chockful of random thoughts someday (my more serious book about religion is already available on Amazon), but deadline pressures keep forcing me to cannibalize my ideas for this column instead. more
After all these years, my dad inspires me still. more
It all started with the nationwide COVID-19 lockdown in the spring of 2020, and it’s one of the few lingering effects of the experience that hasn’t tempted me to seek intense electroshock therapy. more
I started my first business in the 5th grade when I convinced a neighbor to allow me to cut her grass with her electric lawn mower. more
“Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.” Those are the clever words of British humorist Terry Pratchett, who couldn’t have explained the aging process … more
Millions of young women dream of being honored on Mother’s Day. more
The concept of “parking” loses most of its mystique as you get past the giddy days of a freshly minted driver’s license and shoulder the responsibilities of adulthood. more
Depending on when you’re reading this, my 52nd birthday is/was on April 20th, which, as my dad still loves to remind me, is the same day as Adolf Hitler’s. As a child, I remember thinking that 52 was an age that might be reached by an elderly Galapagos tortoise or a giant redwood tree—certainly not a human. more
I haven’t run away and joined the circus, but I am nearing the age when a financial safety net admittedly has the allure of the Sirens of Greek mythology. more
I recommend the seasonal flu — but please allow me to explain. more
According to Livestrong.com, there are nearly 5 million young people participating in gymnastics in the United States, and although only a handful ever make it to Olympic competition, their parents fork over enough cash on lessons, leotards, custom-embroidered gym bags, hair bows, grips – and other equipment my wife didn’t tell me about – to fund the entire Russian sports doping program. more
Where did all the nurses go? more
I’m glad there’s widespread confusion about what a woman is. I’ve been confused my entire life. more
After the Academy Awards incident between Will Smith and Chris Rock, I started wondering how many of my gentle readers have resorted to physical violence in their adult life. more
If you have a habit of forgetting names as soon as you’re introduced, join the club. In all fairness, I have a mind like a steel trap when it comes to appointments, debts and trivia; … more
With the onset of daylight saving time throughout the U.S. – except for a couple of states that still trust the science – we’ve now reached the time of year that is especially challenging for folks like me who don’t identify as “morning people.” more
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